“What was your first thought when you first performed on stage with tobyMac ? Nervous and scared or calm and relaxed?” -Mariah from Indiana
My last post dug into my fears… my anxiety… the things I don’t like to have. While I do believe (per my last post) that most of us (if not all) have fears and struggles that we should work hard to overcome, there are some instances where we probably shouldn’t make it personal goal to face something with complete independence. Performing is one of those things.
No matter if I’m singing a song about the relationship I have with Christ, the omelet I had for breakfast or the husband I am waiting for, I always want to glorify God in everything that I do. It doesn’t matter if I’m walking onto a stage surrounded by millions, turning on a live webcast for thousands or sitting in small circle of five. My main goal is to think of Who gave me the gift of singing and hopefully give it right back to Him.
When I walk on stage, I want to be shakin in my boots.
I don’t want to have unhealthy anxiety. I don’t want to feel insecure. I don’t want to feel guilty. I just want to remember that what I am about to do is not possible on my own.
I always want to walk on stage thinking, “Lord, please use this for Your glory, if you don’t show up there’s no way this can work out. You are my King, my Savior, and I know You’re always in control. I can’t do this on my own, please take over, please have Your way.”
I understand that God uses me to share His message of Faith and Hope and Love, but I understand that He doesn’t need me and quite frankly, I’m okay with that. I’m blown away seeing what God does in the lives of His children and I lose my mind (in a good way! haha) that He would let me be a part of it. However I know that He could do what He does without me and for that, I am humbled.
I never want to walk on stage thinking, “I got this! They’re gonna love me. Last time I was here they were pumped, they’re definitely gonna love it now.”
So to make a long answer even longer, yes. I do get nervous.
Sometimes there is a legitimate shake about new lyrics or a song I’ve messed up in a few shows, but overall I can’t let that stuff get to me. My nerves for new music is huge but my love for singing it is even greater so that naturally overcomes it.
If you’re a singer, or if you’re thinking about allowing the world of being “on stage” into your life, don’t allow your nerves to over shadow your love for what you’re doing. In addition, take note that the gifts we have were gifted to us, and we should never act as though we have the confidence to complete tasks 100% on our own.